THINKER'S ALMANAC - March 11

What can the man who arranged the secret marriage ceremony of Romeo and Juliet teach us about our own distorted thinking patterns?

Subject:  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Friar Lawrence Talks Romeo Off the ledge.

Event:  Marriage of Romeo and Juliet, 1302

What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them.  It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretations of their significance. -Epictetus

On this day in 1302, according to legend, the star-crossed lovers of Shakespeare’s tragedy Romeo and Juliet were married.  Although we will probably never know whether or not the two lovers actually lived, we, nevertheless, can imagine them as real people because of the genius of Shakespeare’s language.  

                                                   WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE - Image by Mikes-Photography from Pixabay 

In the play, the wedding occurs at the end of Act II. It’s performed in secret by Romeo’s confidant Friar Lawrence, who hopes that the union of the couple will end the feud between their families.  Unfortunately, from the moment they are married, the events of the play turn darker and more tragic.  Immediately after the wedding, Romeo is involved in a street brawl where his friend Mercutio is killed and where Romeo takes revenge by killing Juliet’s cousin Tybalt.  As a result of his actions, Romeo is banished.  

When Friar Lawrence informs Romeo of his banishment, Romeo sees no hope

and draws his sword to commit suicide.  Stopping him, Friar Lawrence councils Romeo, challenging him to change his focus from the seeming hopelessness of 

his situation to a reality that is much more hopeful: his wife, the love of his life, is alive; his enemy, the man who tried to kill him, is dead.  Furthermore, rather than being convicted of murder and sentenced to death, he has been allowed to live in exile.

In the following excerpt from Friar Lawrence’s pep talk in Act 3, Scene 3, notice how he tries to help Romeo reframe his circumstances, encouraging him to choose reason over emotional rashness:

What, rouse thee, man! thy Juliet is alive,

For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead;

There art thou happy: Tybalt would kill thee,

But thou slew'st Tybalt; there are thou happy too:

The law that threaten'd death becomes thy friend

And turns it to exile; there art thou happy:

A pack of blessings lights up upon thy back;

Happiness courts thee in her best array;

But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,

Thou pout'st upon thy fortune and thy love:

Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.

Go, get thee to thy love, as was decreed,

Ascend her chamber, hence and comfort her:

But look thou stay not till the watch be set,

For then thou canst not pass to Mantua;

Where thou shalt live, till we can find a time

To blaze your marriage, reconcile your friends,

Beg pardon of the prince, and call thee back

With twenty hundred thousand times more joy

Than thou went'st forth in lamentation.

Although Shakespeare wrote his play in the 1600s, the Friar’s words of council parallel the approach of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), a method developed in the 1960s by psychiatrist Aaron Beck.  The goal of CBT is to help the subject identify his or her distorted and self-critical thought  processes.  Rather than leaving the subject wallowing in a negative feedback loop, CBT helps a person break the negative cycle by changing their thinking.  CBT teaches subjects to identify the distortions of thinking and to counter them with more realistic, accurate ways of thinking (1).  Romeo, for example, catastrophizes his situation, seeing only the worst and exaggerating his plight.  His bleak outlook gives him no hope for the future and leads him to the brink of suicide.  The Friar’s council, however, breaks him out of his negative spiral and allows him to see a rational alternative to suicide.  By pointing to facts and evidence that runs counter to Romeo’s distorted thinking, The Friar is able -- at least temporarily -- to help Romeo see the true nature of reality.

Recall, Retrieve, Recite, Ruminate, Reflect, Reason:  How did Friar Lawrence reframe Romeo's negative thinking to give him hope? How does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help people?

Challenge - Cognitive Behavior Therapy:  Do some research on CBT.  What are its benefits, and what kind of people would benefit from it?

ALSO ON THIS DAY:

-March 11, 105 A.D.:  On this day, Tsai Lun, a eunuch, presented his revolutionary invention -- paper -- to the Han emperor of China.  

Source:

1-Haidt, Jonathan. The Happiness Hypothesis. Basic Books, 2006.