As victorious generals paraded through the streets of Rome, something was whispered in their ears to keep them humble. What was it?
Subject: Mortality - Memento Mori
Event: National Write Your Own Epitaph Day
Death smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back. -Marcus Aurelius
It’s the one universal, the one reality that all must face. Whether rich or poor, a king or a commoner, we all are mortal. Everyone dies. Or, as Jim Morrison said, “No one gets out of here alive.” There’s an ancient story that comes to mind called “The Appointment in Samarra”:
A merchant in Baghdad sent his servant to the public market. When the servant returned, he approached his master trembling with fear. “Master” he said, “When I was in the marketplace, I was jostled by a woman in the crowd. I turned and saw Death looking at me in the face, and she made a threatening gesture towards me. Please, Master, please allow me to take one of your horses and flee from this city to Samarra so that death will not find me and so that I can avoid my fate.” The merchant granted his servant’s request, and within minutes the servant was galloping away to Samarra. Next, the merchant went down to the marketplace and saw Death standing in the crowd. The Merchant approached Death and asked, “Why did you make a threatening gesture towards my servant?” Death replied incredulously, “That was not a threatening gesture; it was a start of surprise. I was astonished to see your servant in Bagdad, because I had an appointment with him today in Samarra.”
Some, like the merchant, try to forget or avoid this inevitability; however, there is an ancient tradition of embracing it, not to be morbid but instead to be proactive.
In the Roman tradition it’s known as memento mori, and it’s even on the calendar: January Third. In Latin, memento mori translates, “remember that you must die.” The phrase was put to use in ancient Rome to prevent leaders from falling prey to hubris. When a Roman general was paraded through the streets after a victorious battle, a slave was strategically placed behind the general in his chariot. As the general basked in the cheers of the crowd, the slave’s job was to whisper in the general’s ear: “memento mori” or “Someday you will die” (1).
The Stoic philosophers embraced memento mori as a reminder of life’s transience and of the importance of making each minute count. Instead of fearing death, philosophers like Epictetus tried to reframe it, saying, “Death and pain are not frightening, it’s the fear of pain and death we need to fear.” For centuries, an entire genre of art works has been produced around the memento mori theme, usually depicting a skull and an hourglass (2).
Memento mori is not just for Roman generals or Stoics, however. After he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2003, Apple Founder Steve Jobs gave a moving commencement address at Stanford University, reminding graduates that facing our mortality is no morbid exercise; instead, it is motivating:
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. (2)
One sure way to face mortality is to take a walk in a cemetery, perusing the gravestones and reading the epitaphs. Today, November 2, is the perfect day for such a ruminative stroll because it is National Write Your Own Epitaph Day (3). It’s a day to remember your mortality but also to consider what words you will leave behind to the living. How might you distill the wisdom of your life into a single concise aphorism?
Recall, Retrieve, Recite, Ruminate, Reflect, Reason: How did the merchant’s reaction to Death in “Appointment” differ from Steve Job’s attitude towards death, and how does this relate to momento mori?
Challenge - Words To Leave Behind: Do some research on epitaphs. Then, carefully craft your own epitaph.
Sources:
1-Crosby, Daniel. Memento Mori – The Ancient Roman Cure for Overconfidence. 7 Nov. 2013.
2-Jobs, Steve. Death is Very Likely the Single Best Invention of Life. The Guardian. 10 Oct. 2011.
3-Nationaltoday.com “Plan Your Epitaph Day – November 2, 2021.”
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