THINKER'S ALMANAC - December 13

Subject:  Framing - Unity and Journey Metaphors

Event: The film Jerry McGuire is released, 1996

The course of true love never did run smooth. -William Shakespeare

On this day in 1996, the film Jerry McGuire was released.  The film focuses on a character played by Tom Cruise, and his struggle to cling to his career as a sports agent.  Much of the film’s drama revolves around Jerry’s relationships with two people:  his sole client, Rod Tidwell, a football player; and his secretary, Dorothy Boyd, a single mother.

For his role as Rod Tidwell, Cuba Gooding Jr. won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.  His line in the movie: “Show me the Money!” became one of the most recognizable movie lines of all time.  Another iconic line from the film comes towards the end of the movie when Jerry is declaring his love to Dorothy.  After the two have experienced a brief breakup, Jerry has an epiphany and rushes to Dorothy’s home to tell her how much he loves her, saying, “You complete me.”

The film ends with Jerry and Dorothy together, but we might wonder if their relationship lasts.

One clue to this question comes from the research of social psychologists Spike W.S. Lee (not the movie director) and Norbert Schwarz.  They wanted to evaluate the satisfaction of couples based on the way the couples metaphorically frame their relationships.

One common frame is what we might call the Jerry McGuire frame, where couples view their relationship as a unity of two halves.  This is also known as the soulmate or unity frame, where couples view themselves as being made for each other or a perfect match.  

The second frame views relationships as a journey.  The couple sees themselves as travel companions, walking together on a long path, making a journey together that is not yet complete.

In the study by Lee and Schwarz, couples were first asked to think about relationships in either the unity frame or the journey frame.  Next, they were asked to write down two things they fought about.  Finally, they rated their satisfaction both with their relationship and with their lives.

The results of the study revealed that couples who viewed their relationship with the unity frame expressed less satisfaction with their relationship than did the couples who used the journey frame (1).

Hollywood loves to frame love using idealistic and romantic frames, but in the real world, it makes more sense to approach relationships with the realization that the road is not always smooth.  Rather than seeing conflict or disagreement as a disappointment, it makes more sense to see it as an inevitable part of the journey that we make with our partner.  Reaching a destination is not always easy; it involves struggle and hard work, but it can be a rich and rewarding learning experience.  Rather than looking to meet our soulmate, perhaps it makes more sense to create our soulmate.

Challenge - Metaphors Matter:  Select an abstract concept such as success, failure, courage, or cowardice.  Then, do a search on some quotations related to your idea.  Find a quotation that frames the ideas with a metaphor.  Write out your quotation, and comment on how the metaphor helps illustrate the writer’s insight about the idea.

Sources:

1-Hagan, Ekua. “Do you Believe in Soulmates? Should You.” Psychologytoday.com 4 Jan. 2019.